“Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.”
– Thomas J. Watson
“Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.”
– Mark Twain
I wanted my blog today to begin to actually give practical advice about how to start incorporating exercise into your life in a non-threatening way. The advice will not be from a trained or qualified professional but just from someone with experience of going from fear to love.
My first two blogs were mainly about mindset and overcoming perceived hurdles to change but I need to address what actually happened for those changes to begin in the first place.
For me the pivotal time when was I started a new job in September of 2018 which was around two years after the birth of my third child. This was when my body confidence was at an all time low, my weight had yo-yo’d significantly. Starting a new job, I was once again on a ‘diet’. (I will post in the future about ‘diets’ but again very much like my relationship with exercise, my relationship with food was one that I would not describe as healthy.)
It was when I started my new job that two people entered my life, both of which have had a significant impact on the way I view physical activity. They shall remain anonymous but both of these people provided very different forms of inspiration and motivation.
One pf these people is someone who has taught me how to use exercise as a way to carve out time for myself. We go to the gym together, have a coffee, we make it a social time, a time for catch up, enjoying the company. This person supports, encourages and makes it fun, so that it is now part of my social life, time away from my responsibilities of work and being a mother. This, I would suggest, is a great way to start, find a friend that you can start doing physical activity with. It will make beginning so much easier and less threatening. The other valuable thing about starting out with a friend who is more experienced in this area, is that they can show you how to do the exercises and make sure you are doing them right, support and encourage when you are struggling.
This person helped exercise become a regular part of my life by building it into a routine. I always had the excuse that I didn’t have time, but now every Saturday morning – tthe gym with my friend and afterwards we have a coffee, we go early as not to impact weekend family time, and thereby I kill a lot of birds with one stone, social time, time to focus on taking care of myself both physically and mentally and a way to spend time with my friend.
The other person was someone I met at work. This person from first impressions was the epitome of everything I was not, and would not normally or ‘on paper’ (I really hate that expression) be someone that I would have as a friend. This person taught me that this ‘pigeonholing’ or ‘labeling’ of both others in and myself was what had been holding me back. This person was young, confident, sporty – like I said – opposite to me! From getting to know this person, I found that they were able to help me in so many ways, they live their life to the absolute maximum, pack everything in and make the most of every opportunity. This love of life is infectious and has enabled me take on new challenges and not to be a passenger in my own life.
Although these two people were the trigger, I am lucky to have a lot of people in my life who have helped support me including my husband and children. Support is key for making changes, as it is so tough to change habits and attitudes that have been built up over thirty plus years.
You may find that when you start to make changes that some people in your life might that difficult or threatening. This was how I used to be, change was to be feared, it’s the unknown and many people may project that fear on to you. Try to drown out the noise and make sure that you and your ‘fitness friend’ can speak about this, it will help keep you focused.
My advice is to find a fitness friend and start doing one activity a week with that person, turn it into a social time, make sure you have a treat afterwards and make it something to look forward to.
Next time I am going to write about how to enter a gym without having a minor or major breakdown,
Please share your thoughts on my blog
Best
Ruby x
theshamehealth 